ana capa california

In 2008 I finally did it, my first LSD trip. Steven, a tall and experienced friend, planned the adventure, provided the chemical and made sure I was OK the whole time.

The place itself was already very psychedelic; a very small island rising high from the sea covered with strange colored plants and thousand of seagulls flying right over our heads.
In the beginning I just saw slight color variations, a bit of saturation and fringes around edges of objects. The hills started pulsing, changing colors and finally it seemed as if the whole earth was breathing, moving slowly in waves. I laid down to look at the sky and the seagulls were followed by color trails. The clouds shifted in kaleidoscopic shapes. We walked to the tip of the island to watch the sunset and that’s when it really started. I could see the energy of the earth flowing over the islands and into the ocean in the distance and as I was looking, slowly, concepts like time, guilt and responsibility disappeared. Things were not cool or uncool or beautiful or ugly but I just took them in as they were and I tried to think back in my memory to what reality was but I started losing touch more and more. I felt humor and sarcasm were unnecessary ideas and I felt California’s energy radiating from the ground and I understood we don’t need anything. I remember staring at the sunset and feeling so much power coming from it. It made me feel very very happy and complete as if everything just exists without needing a reason.

That’s when it really started kicking in. We walked around and images and feelings and thoughts and sounds all became one. I remember losing a sense of language, I lost any attention span, to think of even one syllable. I kept trying to say the word “language” but couldn’t and I gave up on that and just moved forward into my thoughts. Layer after layer I drifted further from reality and it was a bit scary but I always felt Steven’s presence so it was fine and I realized perception without language really changes everything. I kept moving more and more into the abstract and looking behind me now and then, looking back at the previous step knowing the only way is the one ahead.
The only connection I had with reality were names that popped up every now telling me it was OK to continue.

Finally I fell asleep in my tent and woke up a few hours later relaxed but still dreamy, slowly waking up as I walked around the island a few times.

Later that morning we joined a guided tour. The ranger told us a legend from the Chumash Indians. They believed that mankind started on this island. It was too small for their forefathers to thrive, so they prayed to Mother Earth. She created a rainbow that reached all the way to mainland California. The Chumash could pass but they were not allowed to look down or they would be dropped into the ocean. Some could not resist, they looked down, but Mother Earth did not kill them, she turned them into dolphins.

ana capa california